I was reading another blog about how when you marry a person with kids you don’t marry them “for” the kids but “in spite of ” of their kids. When i read it I had to do a little jump because this is exactly how i feel. I didn’t realize how much stress and responsibility was going to be laid on me. I think the step parents is sometimes look at the as the reason why the parents are not together so the step parents has to go over and beyond what the parents do to be accepted by the child and ex. After 7 years I had to step out of the position that the world has made me be and play the part that I fit into. I am the supplemental parent. Legally, I have to say so to this child and cannot make any decisions regarding this child. If my husband passed away today, the custody order would become null and void and her mom would not have any obligation to me or my kids. So with that being said, step parents stop trying to fit into a role that does not belong to you. You are the spouse of the a parent that is trying to co parent with an ex. More times than not, its not a joyful split and their is pain and anger. Step back and just listen. Don’t force it just, just get in where you fit in.