Lesson 1: Fighting is Futile!!
Becoming a blending family can be hard but it can very rewarding at the same time. As an adult you have to know when it is ok to be one family. That doesn’t mean be a family on Monday and not Tuesday, but it means that when there are kids involved you can’t be one happy family immediately. You have to take into consideration the kids feelings. When we joined together as puzzled pieces, My daughter, T, didn’t have a father around so her adjustment to Eric was very easy. Eric’s daughter, K, was a little different. See he was married and divorced but he was in K life the whole time so it was a little difficult at first. Well, let me honest, it would have been an easier transition if her mother was more supportive of her daughter having a healthy relationship with her dad outside the marriage(Only in a perfect world). Well, it was many court battles, mud-slinging and dad bashing that hurt the way K looked at us as a blended family. Not ever did I want to replace someone’s mother ( I was already a mother so trust me I had my hands full with the T) I didn’t want her to feel left out and be as equal as T was. After many parent counseling visits and attempted conversations with K mother, it feel on deaf ears. She didn’t really want what was best for K, she wanted to make Eric miserable and turn K against her daddy. That hurt me heart so much that I was going to decide to end our relationship because I didn’t want a child to be hurt because one parent decided to move on. Eric refuse to let negativity ruin our relationship or his relationship with his daughter. Well, four years later we are still dealing with madness but we have a foundation of GOD and it doesn’t bother us anymore. We laugh and say GOD bless and focus on raising these children the best way we can.
My advice: Don’t ever let an outsider destroy the inside. Put the Kids first and make sure they are reminded of how much you love them. Even if they are told the opposite, children are not crazy, they will know the truth.